Desperate Dater

You’ve plastered your best smile on your face and you think you’ve mastered the art of flirting. So why is it that you have one heck of a hard time attracting a date? And once you do have a date, there’s no second date! In a word, desperation.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if this sounds like you, you’re wearing your dating desperation on your sleeve. One look at you and potential daters will keep their distance; they can smell your fear. Want to change your luck? Read on;

As with most things in life, when you try too hard to succeed at something, you end up failing. Just like you can’t force that white ball onto the green, you can’t force someone to fall for you; it usually just happens on its own. When you appear desperate for a date the only thing potential dates will feel is pressure, not desire.

How often in the past six months have you told a little white lie to a potential date? If the answer cannot be counted on one hand, then you’re guilty of lying to impress. There are two unfortunate consequences of lying to impress; one, potential daters will sense your insincerity and two, you’ll soon have a reputation as a liar.

Agreeing with everything. When you’re having a conversation with a potential date, do you find yourself agreeing with everything they say, even if you don’t? Though this isn’t outright lying, you’re not being true to yourself. You cannot expect someone to get to know the real you if you don’t have any opinions of your own. Agreeing for the sake of agreeing is for wimps.

Nobody wants to date a doormat; except maybe a control freak, and you don’t want anything to do with someone like that! So why do you allow your dates to treat you shabbily? There’s no reason to tolerate tardiness, or worse being stood up. Showing potential daters that you have respect for yourself is the first step in gaining respect from others.

You sleep with someone even though you don’t really want to. Have sex with whomever you want, provided you feel ready to do so. By doing otherwise you’re setting yourself up as someone who’ll go to any lengths to please someone; and that’s desperation personified.

True dating desperation means dating anyone you can, regardless of whether or not you actually like them. If that sounds like you, you need some dating downtime. And you should use that time to get back in touch with yourself; to like yourself and enjoy your own company. If you like yourself, chances are that others will too!

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