QI Self Improvement

Following the loss of her partner, Phil G is asked by a woman in Milwaukee, USA, how to re-start a connection to him, in the Afterlife. Initially getting ’signs’ that he’s around, she now feels it’s stopped. She also couldn’t be with him at the end, and wants to know if that’s okay.

Despite my belief in being able to contact family and friends in the afterlife, I know some think I’m crazy. But that doesn’t bother me, because I get so many messages from ordinary people who find my simple idea works, and they verify it themselves which is great, and cool! I’m glad this lady got signs to start with, but I strongly believe she’s still getting them, and missing the subtle clues. I also feel there are reasons why we sometimes happen to miss the final moments of someone’s life.

My father died a couple of years ago, and he desperately wanted to come home from hospital. I live a long way from his home, and there was no way we could provide care for him there. I know it’s sad when they want to ‘go home’ but sometimes, we can’t always do what we wish. I don’t believe they hold that against us, and understand.

I received an email today sharing a beautiful story. Originally, this person wrote of how distressed she was feeling. She purchase the audio “Contacting the Afterlife – a Spoken Beginners Guide” from the website (philg.net.au or afterlifephilg.com). And although she didn’t think she could do it, her email today was a very excited one indeed, as she not only connected, but verified it was real. She was very surprised, and overwhelmed with joy at knowing her partner is still with her, and she can verify it!

In this case, I don’t feel your partner has stopped contacting you. Sometimes, they may not appear to be around and there can be a few reasons, but in most cases, I think it’s because you WANT them too strongly – you miss the subtle signs. In my book and on the website, I talk about the gentle signs being like a gentle breeze, and it’s so easy to miss them, especially if you’re trying so hard.

Think back to what happened when you did get a sign, a feeling he was near. Although it may have been an outward sign, something IN YOUR HEAD made you think: “It’s Him”. It’s different. You just KNOW. You can’t really explain it to anyone else, and everyone else may think you’re silly, but in your heart, you know.

Embrace that feeling again. You probably want ’signs’ too much. Just think about him, feel that feeling in your head that he’s near, and trust him. He wants you to be strong for others, to hold and hug you and wipe your tears. Look at the simple ideas on my website, and believe the possibility that he’s still with you, and verify it later.

The website has quite a bit of free information, and a link to the YouTube video called “CoffeeTime” which allows you to create a situation conducive to contacting family in the afterlife. Just ENJOY them being with you, without necessarily wanting ‘a sign’ – and FEEL them in your head and heart, and don’t think you’re imagining it, but just savour the moment. Although you may want proof for others or yourself, just for now, if you’re having trouble getting a connection, I think you should NOT ask for a sign, or expect one, but get used to the different feeling in your head and heart when they’re around, and the rest will happen.

The key here for anyone who either wants to contact loved ones who have passed away, or feels they’ve had something already, but now feel the connection is lost, is to take it one step at a time, don’t try too hard, relax, and gradually let it happen, gradually understand the connection, and then go on to verify it using the ideas on my website.

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Afterlife Phil G shares his mailbag to recognize contact from life after death: “I lost my father, I sense him near, but my thoughts are so mixed up I can’t actually ‘connect’ with him…” writes Lisa from the UK.

“In answer, can I say that belief in being able to connect with the afterlife doesn’t always translate to being able to connect clearly, especially if it’s someone very close to you – the problem is how to verify it when you already know so much.”

I had the same problem (visitors to my website on contacting the afterlife will know my discovery was accidental, back in 2002) and it’s why I developed my simple technique. Firstly, if you sense him around, then he’s there. I know some would think that’s a nave statement, but it’s true and you can verify it yourself in time.

We need to move onto how to clarify things. Specifically there are a few tools I make available to help on my website on contacting the afterlife. Can I run through those first. Connecting is about being relaxed, to the point you’re not controlling your own thoughts – like a deep meditation phase where your body goes to jelly – accepting anything that comes through, and then verifying it, step by step, until it becomes easier.

On my web site on life after death, I share many tools to help, most of them free, including instructions, a YouTube video, and a list of books and things to help. But the starting point is to be relaxed. I find it hard to get clear information or feelings if I am busy, rushed, or thinking about everything else, so the first step is to be really relaxed, to the point of not thinking about anything else. Any meditation will do, including my “Contact Family in the Afterlife yourself” audio guide.

From my own personal perspective, I find it hard to get clear information or feelings if I am too much in the “now” – so the absolute important step is to relax. Especially if you ‘feel’ people around – it’s often much easier to know when others are around rather than those who you know well. Relaxing helps you ‘zone out’ and any meditation will do or the “Contact Family in the Afterlife yourself” audio guide has a very effective section in it.

The reason you need to relax and let go is so that any random thought can come in. When you are aware of things, and your mind is switched on, you think things through too much, you analyse too much, and that stops the flow of information. It’s like asking someone’s advice, and then thinking your own thoughts and not listening – you won’t hear them, you’ll only hear your own thoughts. You may not get what you want right now, but you’ll get things, and it gets easier.

Lastly, you want to confirm what you got was not just your own thoughts, and my personal suggestion is to ask for something you don’t know, or something you’re forgotten. Something you don’t know can be any random thing. In my wife’s case, the final ‘proof’ she needed to verify I was sharing messages from her father was an image I saw of a round cylinder containing a bunch of pens and pencils, being knocked to the ground. I had not seen her office, did not know she had pens and pencils in a container like that (she doesn’t at home), and she had in fact knocked it off the desk that day.

In my book ‘Soul Matters – you can talk with those you miss’ I talk about my Nanna coming through one evening. (She passed away when I was about 7) She showed me a scone on a plate. I had no idea what this meant, until I heard her voice say “don’t you remember the scones?” – then I remembered. I had asked my mum over and over to make scones like my Nanna (The British make scones much better than Aussies do!) I had completely forgotten that.

So ask those two questions, and trust whatever is brought through will make sense, and verify your connection. You see, it’s not so much as you need to know HOW to connect, but how to clarify what you’re getting, and although the steps I’ve listed do both, in your case, concentrate on those little differences between just ‘feeling he’s near’ and ‘asking for verification’.

I hope this works for you. Tell me how you get on in a few months by using the feedback link on the website (philg.net.au). I’m sure you’ll get the clarity and proof you desire.

Phil G

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